extremely qualified ambassador of earth

[bitterchill]

Vancouver, being Vancouver, lacks a vibrant night life, or for that matter a dingy one. Take this alleyway, for instance. Completely empty. Where are the muggers? Where are the filthy strays? New York clicks its counterfactual tongue in grimy disapproval.

That said: the alleyway is empty. It would be a shame if something... happened to it.

Comments

[bitterchill]

"Yeah. Far as the Courts go, there's Winter, they're vicious bastards but at least they're honest about it; there's Summer, who pretend to be all sweetness and light but they're hunters to the core, make no mistake; and then there's the Wyldfae, who stay neutral in the whole affair. The Courts are ruled by three Queens each, and the Wyldfae are nominally ruled by the Erlking, who mostly just leaves them to it and spends his time hunting down whatever poor bastards get in his way."

He grimaces. "And this is goblin territory. So keep on your toes, and if you hear any kind of suspicious rustling I encourage you to scream like a little girl and hide behind me while I pulverize them."

[between_worlds]

Alex laughs, "This sounds like it's going to be fun."

[bitterchill]

"I'd say you have a weird idea of fun, but it's looking like it's pretty much the same as mine. So, you have a weird idea of fun."

[between_worlds]

"Exploring new worlds is my favorite thing. And I mean, after you've been eaten once, it stops being scary and you start wondering why digestion takes so long."

[bitterchill]

"Yech. Assuming I don't give them the time to eat you, would it help if I held all your bits together? I've got a sewing needle, if it comes to that."

[between_worlds]

"Yes, that would help. I don't think you'll need the needle though."
Alex sighs, "I hope you don't need the needle."

[bitterchill]

"Well, better to have it and not need it. Ideally you won't be ripped to pieces at all, wouldn't that be nice."

[between_worlds]

"That would be nice. Let's make that our goal for today."

[bitterchill]

"Probably doable! Goblins are persistent little bastards, but I'm pretty sure I can keep them off you with proper application of murder. At least long enough that they can't do any more than savage you a bit."

[between_worlds]

"Is there anything here that won't try to kill us?"

[bitterchill]

Ari casts around them. After a bit of thought, he walks over to a patch of plant life and looks at it closely. He plucks a flower closely resembling a thistle.

"This flower isn't venomous. Just has teeth." He pries open its blossom, revealing row upon row of bristling fangs. "But it won't kill you."

[between_worlds]

Alex laughs, and pokes the flower, carefully with a long twig.

[bitterchill]

Rar! It is a highly bitey flower. It gnaws on the twig enthusiastically.

Ari chuckles and pulls out a bit of unidentified jerky from a coat pocket. "D'you want to keep the madblossom? It'll calm down if you feed it, and it'd look nice in your hair."

[between_worlds]

"Sure, thanks. I can be pretty and no one will ever think to confiscate a flower."

[bitterchill]

"Nice!"

He guides Alex's hand through the process of feeding the flower; it purrs, and Ari places it gently behind Alex's ear.

"Very stately. You could be a shortish Sidhe and I your human servant. Except I'd be wearing too many clothes."

[between_worlds]

Alex pets the flower and asks, half grinning and slightly flushed, "Too many clothes?"

[bitterchill]

Ari coughs delicately. "Generally, when a Sidhe employs a human, the human dresses for their job. That job is generally 'concubine.'"

[between_worlds]

Alex's eyes grow distant for a moment, and then flash back to Ari's face (definitely his face, not anywhere else, definitely not anywhere else).
"So, umm, how does one become a Sidhe lord?"

[bitterchill]

"Hereditary position, sorry to say. Concubines aren't sidhe-exclusive, though. You can find 'em anywhere. If you know where to... look."

Ari knows where to look. Or at least, he knows where he wants to look. He looks there.

[between_worlds]

"I think I might have an idea."

[bitterchill]

Ari claps his hands together. "In that case, let's get back to reality so we can get on with this sans goblin attack, hm? That sort of thing goes more smoothly without the risk of being ripped into pieces."

[between_worlds]

Alex looks around.
"I do hate to leave faerieland though, goblins aside."