extremely qualified ambassador of earth

[bitterchill]

Vancouver, being Vancouver, lacks a vibrant night life, or for that matter a dingy one. Take this alleyway, for instance. Completely empty. Where are the muggers? Where are the filthy strays? New York clicks its counterfactual tongue in grimy disapproval.

That said: the alleyway is empty. It would be a shame if something... happened to it.

Comments

[erinflight]

A young man appears out of nowhere, stumbles, and catches himself against the wall.

He then sees Ari and tries to nonchalantly stroll away.

[bitterchill]

Ari happens to be passing by the entrance to the alley, which means that attempts to nonchalantly stroll away will necessarily take the young man past him. Ari does not seem inclined to let that happen.

"Hey! Neat trick, there, I didn't see you open a portal or anything. What's your secret?"

[erinflight]

"Oh good, you know about magic. I was worried there for a second. I used this." He lifts up a green gem that's hanging from a cord around his neck.

[bitterchill]

Ari snorts. "Can't help but wonder what your tack would've been if I didn't know. And that is... an interesting thing. Mind if I take a look through the Sight?"

[erinflight]

"Sir, you're obviously drunk. I was there the whole time. Do you need me to call someone for you?" Alex grins, "Sure, you can look at it."

[bitterchill]

"Oh, please, my mother can lie better than that. And she's Sidhe. And dead."

Ari mentally prepares himself, then opens his Sight to the world.

He quickly regrets it.

The device looks like the tidiest little attempted violation of the Seventh Law he's ever seen. Designed to go to... somewhere that's definitely not Earth or the Nevernever or even Heaven or Hell, which pretty much categorically means Outside. That's a problem.

And Alex, when he looks over, is an absolute horrorshow; cheerful as he is, he's been shattered and put together a hundred times. His soul is in splinters, held together by a corona of raw magic. And even though he looks like a human, there's something about him that just doesn't fit.

Ari forces his Sight closed, keeping up as good a poker face as he can. "Interesting little device. What the hell are you?"

[erinflight]

" It was given to me by a friend. It's good for getting around, but I'm not really sure how it works. I'm human. Do I not look it?"

[bitterchill]

Ari laughs at this, a little bit hysterically. (Fuck the Sight.) "Your soul looks like a sculpture of a human made by someone who'd never seen one before, then smashed into tiny pieces and glued back together. Also, your friend is an aspiring warlock and needs a good thwacking with a rolled-up newspaper."

[erinflight]

"Oh yea. That. I know this bastard who made me immortal, so now every time I should die, my soul cracks a bit. My parents were human though."

[bitterchill]

"What a coincidence, I'm fairly sure mine were too. What kind of bastard would this be, specifically? Sidhe, dragon, old god? Outsider, maybe?"

[erinflight]

"Old god I think. I don't know what a Sidhe or an outsider is. His brother's the one who gave me my teleporter. Why do you want to thwack him?"

[bitterchill]

"...You have really confusing gaps in your common knowledge for an immortal with friends among the old gods. I honestly have no idea what's going on here."

(Raised under a literal rock? Extremely incompetent Outsider infiltrator? Unreasonably pretty amnesiac?)

[erinflight]

"I"m, umm, not actually from here. I don't know if you know about this? But there are actually a ton of human universes, thousands, and it's my job to go check out new ones."

[bitterchill]

"Well."

[erinflight]

"I guess not then," Alex laughs, "But yea, I'm from the Organization. There are a lot of things out there that hate humans, and we try to keep the human worlds safe. I'm one of the scouts. If whoever is in power here seems reasonable, I'll try to talk to them. "

[bitterchill]

Ari laughs. "That's adorable. No, no one reasonable is in power. Everyone with power is terrible and should be avoided at all costs. You might have some luck with the Merlin of the White Council of Wizards, if it weren't for the fact that he'd immediately kill you and fling your remains into the sun because you come from beyond the Outer Gates."

[erinflight]

"That's, that's good to know. Maybe I should go home and reevaluate, I'm not equipped to deal with hostile wizards." Alex grips his teleporter and closes his eyes. Nothing happens. He grows very pale.

[bitterchill]

"That looks like a bad thing," Ari hazards.

[erinflight]

"It's not working. It's not working at all. That's never happened before!"

[bitterchill]

"Well... shit."

Ari tries to think of a solution. He can't try to send him back, on account of the Seventh Law being enforced by scary people with swords. He can't help fix the amulet, because he has no damn idea how it works, in addition to which that's still Seventh Law territory.

Eventually, he just goes with, "D'you want to stay in my apartment while you get back on your feet?"

[erinflight]

Alex looks up from where he'd been uselessly fiddling with the teleporter, surprised, "You would do that? You don't even know me."
He smiles and says very seriously, "Thank you."

[bitterchill]

"Well. Nobody else is around, so I might as well do what I can."

He pauses. "Plus, the apartment is huge. I could house, like, at least four dimensional castaways before it started getting crowded."

[erinflight]

Alex laughs, semi-desperately, and says, "I'm Alex by the way."

[bitterchill]

"Oh, thank the Queens you remembered that part. It probably would have gotten awkward. I'm Ari, Ari Kaltmann."

[erinflight]

"Nice to meet you Ari," Alex holds out his hand.