extremely qualified ambassador of earth

[bitterchill]

Vancouver, being Vancouver, lacks a vibrant night life, or for that matter a dingy one. Take this alleyway, for instance. Completely empty. Where are the muggers? Where are the filthy strays? New York clicks its counterfactual tongue in grimy disapproval.

That said: the alleyway is empty. It would be a shame if something... happened to it.

Comments

[between_worlds]

Alex ducks his head,"Umm, well, I should probably, but I don't get tech stuff at all."

[bitterchill]

"Yeah, that seems reasonable. Pretty sure I couldn't teach cavemen how to build a car, or something. You'll probably figure something out."

[between_worlds]

"So what kind of monsters do you fight?"

[bitterchill]

"All kinds, really. There used to be a really bad vampire problem in Vancouver, but we've pretty much wiped them out by now. What else... there's fae nasties everywhere, that's always something to deal with, of course. Necromancers and demon-summoners pop up sometimes. Couple of years back we had to handle a rogue Valkyrie. That sort of thing."

Look, a gelato place! Ari lets go of Alex's hand to hold the door for him grandly.

[between_worlds]

"Thank you," Alex scans the rows of flavors and sighs, "This is a hard choice."

[bitterchill]

"Eh. Try pistachio? Or almond? One of those, probably."

For himself, he orders amaretti and coffee with dark chocolate. (It looks appropriately decadent.)

[between_worlds]

Alex orders almond with chocolate.
"Mmmmm, this stuff is good."

[bitterchill]

"It is! Good gelato is a blessing."

Before he starts on the dessert, he marks a triangle over his heart with his left hand.

[between_worlds]

"What's that mean?"

[bitterchill]

Ari starts. "Huh? Oh, um. Just force of habit, I guess. Benediction to the Winter Queens. I don't usually bother, but, y'know, this is frozen."

[between_worlds]

"Would she curse you if you didn't?"

[bitterchill]

"No, no. It's just that, you know, when you're raised in the mystery cult of goddesses who actually exist, the rituals don't go away easy."

[between_worlds]

"Have you met her?"

[bitterchill]

"Mab, no. Which is not a bad thing. Maeve and I have... interacted. We have an uneasy relationship, which isn't exactly uncommon, given that Maeve is a fucking creep. And I met Mother Winter once... somehow. Or an avatar, or something. She gave me some cryptic prophesy-advice. I am not exactly dying to see her again."

[between_worlds]

"Are you the chosen one?"

[bitterchill]

"Well, not the. But she did say I was going to be in a position to prevent or accelerate at least one apocalypse. And to do that, I apparently needed to be in pretty good psychological shape after being enslaved to scummy faeries for fiftysome years. So she told me that someone loved me, and that kept me sane until I could get free."

[between_worlds]

"Ulterior motives aside, I'm glad she did. Has it happened yet?"

[bitterchill]

"I have handled a couple of things that could have been apocalyptic, but nothing that merits Maternal involvement. So I guess we'll see."

[between_worlds]

"Umm, sorry if this is a rude question, but how long do you have?"

[bitterchill]

"Lifespan, you mean?"

[between_worlds]

"Yea."

[bitterchill]

"The average wizard has a natural life expectancy of anywhere from three to five hundred years. Most wizards don't exactly put fitness as their top priority, so I'd probably be at the higher end of that, or maybe even break records, I don't know. I'm something like sixty or seventy years old, I think, so I have four hundred or so years left. If nothing kills me before then. Which is hilariously unlikely." There's a flicker of a wry smile on his face.

[between_worlds]

"That's good! But, you're a monster fighter, isn't your job having things try to kill you?"

[bitterchill]

"So 'tis. You may have noticed I'm not looking for a less fatal job. It's just... not so much fun to think about, you know?"

He deftly steals a spoonful of Alex's gelato. "Anyway."

[between_worlds]

"What is amaretti?"