bitterchill | Recent Entries

Vancouver, being Vancouver, lacks a vibrant night life, or for that matter a dingy one. Take this alleyway, for instance. Completely empty. Where are the muggers? Where are the filthy strays? New York clicks its counterfactual tongue in grimy disapproval.

That said: the alleyway is empty. It would be a shame if something... happened to it.

Ari is patrolling the streets of scenic Vancouver! Well, actually he's just going to visit Peter, but he's keeping an eye out for monsters along the way. It's a nice night, monsters like ruining that kind of thing. The streets are more or less deserted, it being 2:00 AM on a Tuesday. Ari whistles cheerfully.

Sir* Arel of Keltema has heard there is a dragon nearby who has recently captured a maiden passing fair. Arel enjoys both maidens passing fair and the rescue thereof; thus, his course of action is obvious. He goes to rescue her! His trusty steed carries him swiftly to the dragon's mountain lair. His trusty cat sits in his lap while they travel. It's a good arrangement all around.

Once the lair is reached, Ari stands proudly and shouts traditional challenges. "Foul beast! I hear tell you have kidnapped a fair maiden! Release her or suffer my wrath!"

*sort of

Ari is currently standing on a broad plateau on the Plane of Gold making a very pretty statue of a woman he loved once. He's not thrilled with the fact that she put him in a coma and swanned about doing horrible things for the span of his natural life, but half a millennium is a lot of time to get over that, and Belinda made herself beautiful enough that he's willing to overlook her faults in order to use her as a model. She was stunning.

For this statue, he's elected to use various shades of corundum. He managed to get the violet in her eyes into a pair of sapphires, and is now deliberating over how to render her skin. She changed it every so often, so he's got choices here.

Ari patrols most nights. He frequently whistles as he does so. He's on friendly terms with many of the people of the town, though some of them think he's a dangerous weirdo. (They're not wrong, but it's not very polite to say it outright like that.)

Vampires still come to Sunnydale. Because it's Sunnydale, and because vampires are idiots. The ones who live here already, though, have picked up a habit of either visiting the kosher butcher's or the bite shop, or moving to LA. Or having their heads ripped off by an excessively cheerful blonde half-Kal'shekk witch.

Speaking of the kosher butcher's, he pops his head into that alleyway. Maybe he'll see Mr. Ray, that nice vampire chap who comes by for some fresh cow's blood every Thursday. (Ari acts cheerfully oblivious to the fact that every vampire he knows is blind terrified of him. Some of them are alright when he keeps them from eating people; being unrepentantly amoral doesn't have to mean you're not a nice person.)

Ari is... so, so lost. He didn't know this amount of lost was physically possible. One minute he's in a briar maze deep in Winter picking frostberries for a pie, then he takes four left turns and he exits the briar and he's in a temperate forest. Not even any snow on the ground. He turns around and there's no thicket to be seen.

He puts the frostberry pouch in his backpack and mutters the incantation to open a Way back to the mortal realm; he might land somewhere dangerous, but better endangered in the mortal realm than completely lost in the Nevernever. And... nothing. Literally nothing happens, no backlash or fizzling or anything that would indicate that he fucked up a spell, but the kind of nothing that happens when you don't have a spell to cast.

In something of a panic, he tests that he still has magic by punching a nearby tree, which splinters and crashes to the ground. "So that's still working, I guess," he mutters. "Punching systems: still online."

So, recap: magic works, he just got snatched out of deep Winter territory and put into something that kind of looks like the Wyld, and the Ways are on the fritz. Either something big is screwing with him or he's very much not in Kansas anymore. Either way, he'd better figure out what the hell is going on.

Ari is out on a nice walk. It's never cold enough for his tastes in Vancouver (why'd he have to pick the one city in Canada that hardly goes below zero?) but it's January, so it's at least pleasantly brisk. He outright refused Sally's offer of a coat. Her mothering instinct would be more appropriate if he hadn't grown up in a climate that shaded from "harsh Midwestern November" to "the Arctic Circle."

He reaches a nice little coffee shop he found near the harbor and decides to go in for one of those icy coffee slush drinks they have. He opens the door.

That is not the nice little coffee shop.

He looks through the glass of the window. That is the coffee shop. He looks through the door. That is not the coffee shop.

He shrugs and makes his way in, trusting in his knowledge of the Ways and his ability to turn most threats into gravel.

Inside the not-coffee shop is a bar. It's a nice bar. The floors are clean, the furnishings look fairly high-quality, there's a cool illusion of exploding stars out the window; he's willing to give this one a firm three stars on decor alone. He strides up to the counter and knocks to see if he can summon a bartender of some kind.

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Ari Kaltenbaum

Recent Entries

extremely qualified ambassador of earth

scenic vancouver

fair maiden!

sculpture

come out come out wherever you are

where the hell am i

wait'll i tell sally about this one

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May 2015

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