extremely qualified ambassador of earth

[bitterchill]

Vancouver, being Vancouver, lacks a vibrant night life, or for that matter a dingy one. Take this alleyway, for instance. Completely empty. Where are the muggers? Where are the filthy strays? New York clicks its counterfactual tongue in grimy disapproval.

That said: the alleyway is empty. It would be a shame if something... happened to it.

Comments

[bitterchill]

"Generally is, yeah."

A waiter comes by with their food. He smiles at Ari, who grins back at him.

"Food!"

[between_worlds]

"Good, I'm starving!"
Alex begins wolfing down his food.
"You know, I don't actually think a demon could control me. One benefit of my immortality is that my actions are always my own."

[bitterchill]

"Mmf. It's not so direct. You wouldn't be a meat puppet, you'd just have a devil on your shoulder. A devil with thousands or millions of years' experience manipulating people into committing its favorite sin. Bad idea, don't do it."

[between_worlds]

"I doubt a demon would be able to get inside my head to give me magic in the first place. Do you think there's any way I could get back through the gate?"

[bitterchill]

"I'd say I could probably find one, but trying to find a way past the Outer Gates is extremely against the Laws of Magic. Because it could explode the world. So I might be able to find one that won't explode the world, but I'd have to be really really careful, because the world not being exploded is pretty important to me personally."

[between_worlds]

"Yea, no, I don't want to blow up your world. I'm not in a hurry to find a way out. Glen will miss me, but no one will be seriously inconvenienced by my absence."

[bitterchill]

"Aw. Well, I'll do my best to make sure you enjoy your stay? I mean, speaking of which, on the job thing, you don't actually have to get one if you don't mind joining the Mooch Squad. Sally has multiple millions of dollars, she'd be fine with making sure you can get food and all."

[between_worlds]

Alex gives him a warm smile, "Ari, you're a really awesome person. I'm sure I can find some way to be useful though."

[bitterchill]

"Don't let me stop you. I'm happy to sit around being pretty and occasionally murder ghosts or whatever, but I recognize that's not universal."

[between_worlds]

Alex uses this as an excuse to unsubtly check Ari out, "I can see how you'd get away with that."

[bitterchill]

Ari grins. "It's nice work if you can get it."

[between_worlds]

"How do you kill a ghost?"

[bitterchill]

"Couple of ways. Easiest is a mix of depleted uranium, iron filings, and lead shot. Absolutely brutal stuff, pretty much just turns them into ectoplasm. There's also magical ways of accomplishing the same thing - exorcisms, that sort of junk. And then there's my personal favorite, of course, which is to step into the Nevernever and beat the shit out of them personally."

[between_worlds]

"Could I go into the Nevernever without being magic?"

[bitterchill]

"Yeah, sure! Couldn't get there yourself, but I could bring you along sometime. Show you the sights, and all. I was living there for quite a while, I know where all the cool stuff is."

[between_worlds]

"Yea! That would be awesome." Alex looks down at his mostly empty plate, "I think I'm done, what about you?"

[bitterchill]

Ari's plate has been empty for quite some time. (The man is a one-man plague of locusts.)

"Well, maybe."

[between_worlds]

"Still hungry?"

[bitterchill]

"Might get gelato on the way back to the apartment. Otherwise, not really."

He signals for the delivery of a check.

[between_worlds]

"Ah, sorry I don't think my money will work here."

[bitterchill]

"...Did something about that imply that you were paying? Because, I mean, you're not. Gelato is a basic human right."

[between_worlds]

Alex laughs, "Well in that case, we should go get some gelato."

[bitterchill]

"Damn right."

Ari pays, tipping absurdly, and gets up. "Off we go?"

[between_worlds]

"Yep." Alex stands up at stretches, "You told me this world, but I don't really know much about you?"

[bitterchill]

"Huh, guess I never really did. Uh... Well, I was born some time in or around the 1940s, then my parents died and I was taken in by a nice faerie who wanted to kill me and use my teeth for magic junk. She died, I was enslaved to any number of even less pleasant faeries for an unspecified number of decades, and then I got one of them to send me to the mortal realm by saving her life. I landed in Vancouver on top of Sally, we hit it off pretty well, and we became freelance monster hunters together on account of there were monsters needed hunting."

He pauses. "Unless you just wanted to know my sign, or something."